Chicken Noodle Soup

First Crock-Potting Experience - Chicken Noodle Soup

Life lesson #1: Don’t ever go to the food store on a Sunday. It’s Hell. Literally where the Devil holds all of the crazy, sexually frustrated moms & couples that take up the whole aisle fighting over whether they should get Light or Regular Balsamic Vinaigrette. They’re both going to suck; everyone knows Ranch is the shit.

So I accepted the fact that misery loves company, took my cart, and entered the flames.

After playing bumper cars with two bimbos in aisle 2, I grabbed the following:

2 Medium Carrots

2 Stalks of Celery

1 Medium Onion

2 Cloves of Garlic

2 14oz cans of Low Sodium Chicken Broth

1 10 ¾oz can of Fat Free Cream of Chicken Soup

1 16oz Bag of Egg Noodles (you’ll only use half if you want to buy a smaller bag)

1lb of Boneless 98% Fat Free Chicken

½ tspn black pepper

And $22 worth of fucking spices: ½ tspn of Thyme, Rosemary, & Sage

(My mother tells me it’s worth it – need to “build” your spice collection. God, I hope she’s right.)

At first I couldn’t find the garlic… went to the produce section, figuring it would be by the onions. Immediately got distracted by the Sale sign for Cupcake Red Velvet wines - fucking gold.  I snap out of it and realize I need to actually ask someone where the garlic is (yes, I’m feeling as pathetic as you’re thinking).

“Oh Miss, it’s near the front. With the popular goods.”

What the hell? I walk… I turn and quickly find the garlic. Not only do I find the garlic but I discover these “popular goods” -  Tomatoes, garlic, batteries, condoms, and Gatorade. Riiiiight…… only in America.

Anyway.

The original recipe is slightly different, I do know a few tips to making things healthier. This is shocking, I know. 

-       Always pick a low sodium broth or soup if you can

- American Choice brand Egg Noodles have 1.5 grams less fat per serving than most brands

-       Fat-free: less taste but you feel better about yourself

-       Most chicken noodle soup recipes will call for thighs or breast with the bone; if you get boneless breasts, way less calories

You chop the vegetables and mince the garlic. Slice up the chicken, thin one-inch slices. Take your spices and crush them.

Toss it all in the crock-pot.

Add cream of chicken soup.

Add Broth.

Turn crock-pot on high.

Mix, cover, sit on your tush for 3 1/2 hours.

It was very thick the first time I made it. I would add at least a cup of water after you see the consistency once heated.

Mix intermittently & at about the 3-hour mark, add the noodles. Let them cook for another 30-45 minutes. Taste and let it go another 1/2 or so if the veggies aren't done (they should be really soft when "done")

Salt to taste then stuff your face.

This will make about 8-10 servings, aka the only thing I’ll be eating all week. A serving is a generous cup standing tall at only 203 calories, 6 g total fat, 2g carbs, 0 g fiber, 34 g protein (nutrition facts from original recipe, my version is most likely less in calories & definitely less in fat).

Shout out to my wonderful Mom who gave me the slow cooker this fall – you all need to get one, it’s amazing, the damn thing cooks for you. My beautiful Grandmother gave me the cookbook where the original recipe came from – Better Homes and Gardens. You will be seeing A LOT of recipes from this gem.

 Mom.Grammy.Aunt Jean.Me

Remember bitches, it’s important to be healthy but you can be skinny when you’re dead.

Enjoy.